The 3 Lessons

Through this semester we have learned many things about Interpersonal Communication. Almost every chapter covered something important. Being asked to choose only 3 lessons was tough. But to me the three I chose were the most important and the most relevant to me.

 Lesson 1

    The first and most important lesson I learned in Com 2206 involves my Self. This is relative to Chapter 4 of the Adler: Interplay textbook, "Interpersonal Communication and the Self". Through this chapter we learn the 3 main parts of the Self, Self-Concept, Presenting the Self, and Disclosing the Self. This lesson has the most significance to me.

  Chapter 4.1

  Self-Concept is "the relatively stable set of perceptions you hold of yourself." (Adler et. al) Your self-concept not only reflects your appearance, but also who you are on the inside. Things such as your personality, your feelings, and passions can influence your self-concept. One sentence about self-concept stood out to me, "Even if you added hundreds of words, it could never be complete, and it will change somewhat over time." (Adler et. al) To me, this means that how you view yourself will always change as your self continues to develop. This tells me that worrying about our self-concept all the time is unnecessary. This leads me to my second point of self, Self-esteem.
    

    Self-esteem "is the part of the self-concept that involves evaluations of self-worth." (Adler et. al) While your self-concept focuses on qualities about yourself, self-esteem focuses on how you feel about these qualities. Self-esteem is something everyone deals with. Some people have high self-esteem, and some people have low self-esteem. People with high self-esteem are more confident in who they are, while people with low self-esteem worry more about their qualities that they deem low value. 

 Chapter 4.2

    This section of the chapter deals with how you present your self. There are two versions of your self, the perceived self, and the presenting self. Perceived Self is "the person you believe yourself to be, though it may not be accurate in every respect."(Adler et. al) Presenting Self is "a public image—the way you want to appear to others. In most cases the presenting self is a socially approved image"(Adler et. al) Your perceived self is more of the private side of you. In everyday relationships, you rarely reveal much of your private self. Your presenting self is your public side, the side you want people to see. Different people see your presenting self differently based on your relationship to them. 

Chapter 4.3

    This final section of the Chapter deals with disclosing parts of your self. There are three points that make an act of communication self-disclosing. You must reveal personal information about yourself, you must communicate the information on purpose, and someone else must be the target for this information. Many people don't feel comfortable disclosing personal information until the given relationship reaches a certain milestone. Other guidelines self-disclosure should follow include being honest, making the information relevant, thinking about how available the given information is, and the context in which the information is being shared.

How this affects me

    The points made in this blog have always been an issue for me. In hindsight, I have always had low self-esteem when it came to many aspects of myself. So that tells me I have had low opinions of my whole self-concept in one way or another. I also have noticed my perceived self and presenting self is way different. I put my best self-concepts towards the front of my presenting self while dealing with what I deem as the worst parts of myself alone. As for disclosing myself, I don't share personal information with people very often, until I feel extremely comfortable with the given person. 

    Reading through this chapter gave me a better understanding of the issues I have with my overall self. Since reading this chapter I have begun working on these issues and my self-esteem has drastically increased.

Citations

Adler, Ronald, B. et al. Adler: Interplay. Available from: eCampus, (15th Edition). Oxford University Press Academic US, 2020.

“15,185 Self Esteem Stock Photos and Images.” 123RF, 123RF, https://www.123rf.com/stock-photo/self_esteem.html.

Frenta. “3D Puppet with Two Masks in Hands Stock Illustration - Illustration of Entertainment, Feeling: 10314628.” Dreamstime, 30 July 2009, https://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photos-3d-puppet-two-masks-hands-image10314628.

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 Lesson 2

    The second lesson I learned in Com 2206 involves emotions. This is relative to Chapter 9 of the Adler: Interplay textbook, "Emotions". Through this chapter we learn the 4 main parts of emotion, 'What are Emotions?', 'Influences on Emotional Expression', 'Expressing Emotions Effectively', and 'Managing Emotions'. The two sections that stand out are the last two.

Section 9.3

    This section deals with Expressing Emotions Effectively. The main points made in this section deal with recognizing feelings, choosing the best words to describe your feelings, being able to share multiple feelings, knowing the difference between feeling and acting, and being able to accept responsibility for your actions. The first two points stand out to me. People see their emotions differently than each other. Most people are aware of their feelings, but they don't always know how to identify these emotions. Without being able to recognize these emotions, you cannot effectively express them.

Section 9.4

    This section deals with Managing Emotions. There are two ways to determine the type of emotion facilitative emotions "that contribute to effective functioning, and debilitative emotions "that hinder or prevent effective performance."(Adler et. al) Facilitative are emotions that allow or cause you to do actions. Debilitative are emotions that prevent you from doing those actions. Typically, positive emotions are facilitative and negative emotions are debilitative. This section also explains how your thoughts can affect your feelings. Basically, as new thoughts emerge, your feelings about the subject change.

How this affects me

    Emotions are yet another thing I struggle with. I recognize the emotions I should be feeling, but I don't always feel them. Other times I feel emotions strongly depending on the issue presented. For example, the day I'm writing this it was decided my dog, who I've known for 12 years needs to be put to sleep. She has many health issues that affect her quality of life. Since the veterinarian told us this, I haven't tried to process the news or my feelings. This news is what caused me to pick this subject.    

Citations

Adler, Ronald, B. et al. Adler: Interplay. Available from: eCampus, (15th Edition). Oxford University Press Academic US, 2020.

© Bilderbaron Bilderbaron. “Logo Business, Emotion Picture. Image: 4851102.” Dreamstime, 11 May 2012, https://www.dreamstime.com/logo-business-emotion-stock-photography-image-free-4851102.

 

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Lesson 3 

     The third and final lesson I learned in Com 2206 involves perception. This correlates to chapter 5 of the Adler: Interplay textbook, "Perceiving Others".  Through this chapter, we learned the four main parts of perception, which include The Perception Process, Influences on Perception, Common Tendencies in Perception, and Synchronizing Our Perceptions. There are two sections of the chapter that stand out to me. 

Chapter 5.1 

    The first section of this chapter focuses on The Perception Process. The Perception Process starts with first and second-order realities. First-order realities "are physically observable qualities of a thing or situation." (Adler et. al). Second-order realities "involve attaching meaning to first-order things or situations" (Adler et. al). First-order realities are based on what you can see about the person you are communicating with. Second-order realities are based on what these observations mean to you. Second-order realities vary between different people as they perceive what they hear or see differently.  

There are two, in my opinion, very important steps of perception. "The first step in perception is selection, or determining which stimuli receive attention." (Adler et. al). Selection is based on intensity, repetition, and contrast or change. You use these details to determine which item requires attention first. The second is Negotiation, "the process by which communicators influence each other’s perceptions."(Adler et. al). Negotiations allow you to make final decisions after talking things through with the included parties.  

Chapter 5.4 

    The fourth and final section of this chapter focuses on Synchronizing Our Perceptions. An important skill we learned in this section is perception checking. Perception Checking "provides a better way to review your assumptions and to share your interpretations" (Marie, 2018). "A complete perception check has three parts: A description of the behavior you noticed, two possible interpretations of the behavior, and A request for clarification about how to interpret the behavior." (Adler et. al) Perception checking allows you to learn what is really being said, rather than assuming your first thought is the only possible interpretation. This skill can be considered the most important in any relationship as it allows a conflict solution. 

 

How this affects me  

Perception is another thing I've had issues with. I am great at registering first-order realities. It's the second-order realities I struggle with. Whenever I observe something being said or done, I automatically apply meaning to it and allow it to affect my feelings and judgments surrounding the topic. Reading through this chapter showed me exactly where my issues arise and how to fix them. The best solution if have come up with is to give these instances more thought and reaffirm the issue if the issue is with someone else. 

Citations 

Adler, Ronald, B. et al. Adler: Interplay. Available from: eCampus, (15th Edition). Oxford University Press Academic US, 2020.